Saturday, March 1, 2008

#7: Single Sex Education

Rich People adore the idea of single sex education. Rich People like to put their children in uniforms and send boys to boys' schools, where they will learn how to be popular and play Rich People sports, and girls to girls' schools, where they will learn how to read Jane Austen and do calculus. Separating boys and girls somehow helps Rich People imagine that their high-school aged children are not snorting cocaine while their Rich People parents take vacations on Cunard or with Abercrombie & Kent. Rich People also think that single sex education somehow stops their children from having sex with other Rich People. This is an incorrect assumption.

Single sex education prepares Rich People for their futures, when boys will grow up to work in investment banks/multi-national law firms and girls will grow up to be members of the Junior League/Tuesday morning golf group/Equestrian society/Gardening circle while their Rich People husbands are off making more money somewhere else. They all learn that mixing with the opposite sex is something that happens only on occasion, and usually involves something called a "mixer," a "sporting event," or a "formal." This pattern is instilled at a young age and follows Rich People throughout their lives. Because of this, some Rich People a long time ago invented things like the Henley Regatta and Wimbledon so they would have a chance to meet women.

Because single sex education can be so tough, it makes Rich People start drinking at a very, very young age, which explains a lot.